Nobody enters marriage thinking they are going to divorce. However, at least fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. It might be that you have been married for years or even decades, but thoughts of divorce are never easy, especially if you are unsure if it’s time. Whether these concerns are new or have been brewing for some time now, there are a few helpful signs to look for to guide you in the right direction.
Each and every marriage is unique in its own way. With that being said, there are some common signs one may notice that can help them discern whether or not staying married is right for them.
If you find yourself noticing the following signs, you should start by discussing them with your spouse and possibly seek marriage counseling. If you have already tried these steps and find that they were unsuccessful, it just might be time to reach out to a divorce attorney for further guidance.
Communication with your spouse it the cornerstone of all successful marriages. It might be that there is an unwillingness to discuss feelings or even the difficult matters with your spouse, but failure to communicate in a healthy manner is a sure way for a marriage to unravel.
Intimacy is not just about sex. Intimacy brings a general feeling of closeness with your spouse, which is essential in keeping partners together. If either of you doesn’t seem interested in intimacy, it could signify that your marriage is drifting apart. A lack of fondness for your spouse may even be a sign of infidelity. If one person requires more intimacy and is not receiving it, it’s possible to be received elsewhere.
Legally, marriage is an intertwining of two individuals’ financial lives. Consequently, financial considerations remain one of the most common reasons for divorce. If you find yourself unable to agree with your spouse on spending or saving money, then a divorce will begin to appear more attractive as time goes on.
After marriage, many people begin to invest less amounts of time to their relationship. You may find that distractions such as kids, work, hobbies, or anything else that isn’t the other party seem to take priority over a marriage. While it is important to make time for yourself and your kids, failing to invest time into your relationship is not a good sign of a healthy marriage.
It is no secret that most couples don’t want to argue with their spouse, but it is often completely normal and even healthy to do so when done in a respectable way. Constructive arguments indicate that you both care about an issue, each other and want the other person to at least consider an alternative view point. However, if arguments are avoided just to avoid the conflict or because one feels it will "do no good," then keeping the peace becomes a priority and resentment builds leaving crucial disagreements unresolved. So as long as arguments aren’t getting out of control or involving violence, they can prove to be productive. If you find that the energy and urge to communicate or fight is over, then so may be the marriage.
Next to financial considerations, your children are the most important consideration in marriage. Disagreeing on the fundamental's of child rearing such as religion, education, extracurriculars, meals, bedtime, etc., is likely to cause a rift leading a couple to divorce. This co-parenting in hard to enough after marriage and nearly impossible if you don't already co-parent in marriage.
Respect in a relationship is just as important as communication. If one of you has feelings of not being respected, it can lead to deeper disconnection and lack of self-worth. If a spouse feels disrespected and has exhausted every reasonable avenue to communicate those feelings with their partner, then divorce counsel should be sought and the marriage dissolved for self preservation.
Infidelity may well indicate that a marriage is in trouble. If you or your spouse are not being faithful, it is best to decipher why it occurred, how it occurred, and whether you can move forward together. Rarely is infidelity one person's problem, it usually involves a failure to a varying degree of both parties. Revitalizing intimacy is possible if the "why it occurred" is corrected, or it may as equally be impossible to move forward due to the lack of trust. Divorce may be the best resolution when you can't move forward.
Domestic abuse requires a marriage to be terminated immediately. When a spouse is hurting the other in any way either emotionally and physically, the chances of reconciling the differences between them are slim. Therefore, knowing when to leave a situation where domestic abuse is present is crucial. Abuse is often not linear, it comes in waves which is why those abused often feel that they are on a rollercoaster ride. Abuse, in any form, is unacceptable and you must do what is in the best interest of your children and yourself.
A good sign it’s time to divorce is if you have started thinking about what your life would look like after divorce or have even started planning for it. If you find yourself reading advice like this or even resonating with similar information, it’s probably time to sit down with your spouse and discuss separating.
If you are still considering whether a divorce is right for you, it may be time to speak to an attorney to clarify the issue. An attorney can elaborate on some legal and financial realities of a divorce that you may not have considered fully.
Here at
Wilson Whitaker Rynell, we offer free consultations to prospective clients and help them understand the ways we can represent them in divorce matters. So whether you are still exploring how to handle your marriage or made the decision to proceed with a divorce, the attorneys at Wilson Whitaker Rynell are here to help!
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